Adolf_Hitler_cropped_restored2.jpg

VILLIANS

Using &
Abusing People 

Weaponizing Needs

There is a kind of person who is efficient at using peoples needs against them. They have developed a remarkable ablility to study what is most important to a person, see their weaknesses and use it against them. Their lives are filled with gaslighting, half-truths, scaming, scheming, demeaning, and threats. With the goal of making others afraid of them. The study people, read them, get to know them, build relationships with the one goal to find what is importat to them, what they need, and use it against them. It's there mode of operation often fueled needing power. And they want it all. They are Terrorists, Tyrants, Teases. and Terrorists, weaponizing needs to push their agenda. They will bomb, hijack, take hostiges, and down buildings knowing humans have physcial, safety, love, and esteem needs. They will take peoples needs away to get whatever it is they need. 

 

There is another modus aperandi for some who have develped a rare skill to appear competent and in control. To mimic confidence that is so believable it's contagious. It's believable. They lead you to believe they have a rare ability.  They are so believablable they get their name from their prefered weapon. Confidence. And they are called Con Men. They lead pyramid schemes, scams, one sided deals and use negotiation tactics designed to break a person down. Peer pressure, guilt, exploit your friendship, make you feel sorry for them, make fake promises, and gaslight. Their compliments feel real and their promises seem honest. They are usually very charasmatic, attractive, to draw you in and then using your love and belonging need against you. These people are supremely good at using peoples needs against them. It's what they do best.

There is a kind of person who is an expert at using peoples Needs against them. They study people, get to know them, build relationships with the one goal of finding out what is important to them, their weaknesses, what they need, and then use it against them. Their lives are filled with gaslighting, half-truths, scamming, scheming, belittling, and threatening. The objective: making others afraid of them and harmfully submissive. It's their mode of operation often fueled by a need for power. And they want it all. They are terrorists, tyrants, and teases. They are experts at weaponizing others' Needs to push their agenda. They will bomb, hijack, take hostages, and down buildings, knowing humans have physical, safety, love, and esteem needs. They will take peoples Needs away to get whatever it is they desire. 

 

A specialized modus operandi for gaining control of others, for these cunning individuals, is utilizing their rare skill to appear ever competent and in control. They are able to mimic a confidence that is so credible it is contagious. They lead you to believe they have a rare ability. They get their name from their preferred weapon, confidence. They are called Con Men. They lead pyramid schemes, scams, one-sided deals and use negotiation tactics designed to break a person down. Con men excel at using peer pressure and guilt. They exploit friendships and make fake promises. These individuals can manipulate realities or perceptions without remorse. Their compliments feel real and their promises seem honest. They are usually very charismatic, attractive, to draw you in and then use your Love and Belonging Need against you. These people are masters at using peoples Needs against them. It's what they do best.

KordaFilmRollChe.jpg

How To

Be A

Dick-tator

Lacking Empathy

There’s a kind of spectrum of bullies. From Karen’s, Kens, Richards, A-holes, Trolls, D-Bags, to the most dangerous kind, Dictators, they all have one thing in common. They all lack empathy. Here’s the other thing about empathy, when a person doesn’t have it, it makes it a whole lot easier to destroy people and not feel bad about it. Feelings don’t get in the way and there’s nothing to stop them. These people have had some life experience that was so traumatic they’ve decided no one can be trusted and they’re ready to fight for what they need. Everyone’s a threat and that means you. If you’re weak you’re easy prey. It’s not right, it’s just efficient. Bullies have developed mechanisms to be condescending, sarcastic, snarky, rude, and  abrassive. To gaslight, shit-talk, flex, detach and overpower to control and dominate. Within the fight or flight response they tend to be fighters and distruction is what they’re best at.

There’s kind of spectrum of bullies. From Karens, Kens, Richards, A-holes, trolls, D-Bags, to the most dangerous kind, dictators. They all have one thing in common. They have a varying lack empathy. Here’s the thing about empathy, when a person doesn’t have it, it makes it easy to destroy people and not feel bad about it. Imagine playing a game where one person doesn't have to follow any of the rules that the other players do. Feelings (or rules) don’t get in the way so there’s nothing to stop them. These people have had some life experience that was so traumatic that their perception is that no one can be trusted and they have to fight for what they need. Everyone’s a threat and that means you. If you’re weak you are easy prey. It’s not right, it’s just efficient. Bullies have developed mechanisms to be condescending, sarcastic, snarky, rude, and abrasive. To control and dominate they gaslight, shit-talk, and flex. Within the fight or flight response they tend to be fighters and destruction is what they’re best at.

Trauma can affect anyone. For anyone who’s ever lived or worked with bully they know all too well. We have named them Karen, Ken, or Richard. It is widely understood that not all those who lack empathy become bullies and develop mental disorders like sociopathy and psychopathy. But most, if not all sociopaths, do lack empathy. So just because a person had a traumatic childhood doesn’t mean they’re predetermined to cause others harm. But almost all those who do have. If you want to make a bully or a monster you will need to make sure they don’t have empathy. Simply put, hurt people hurt other people. Here’s what’s also interesting, it is well documented the best way to treat bullying behavior is actually not  through punishment or discipline. The most effective way to help is through relationships.  Which develop empathy.

Trauma can affect anyone. For anyone who’s ever lived or worked with bully are narcissistic knows all too well. We even have names like Karens, Kens and Richards for them. It’s often agreed upon and understood that not all those who lack empathy become bullies and develop mental disorders like sociopathy. But most if not all sociopaths do lack empathy. So just because a person had a traumatic childhood doesn’t mean they’re predetermined to cause others harm. But almost all those who do have. If you want to make a bully or a monster you will need to make sure they don’t have empathy. Simply put, hurt people hurt other people. Here’s what’s also interesting, it is well documented the best way to treat bullying behavior is actually not  through punishment or disciple. The most effectie way to help is through relationships.  Which develop empathy.

THEY HAVE PAST TRAUMA

Why
They Love
Control

Hurt People, Hurt Poeple

Bullies are the ones who take over a room, a situation, a conversation, or a relationship. Whatever it is, they want to control and the main objective is to gain it. They want to dominate. They want to dictate. This is because somewhere in their lives they have lost control of one or many Needs, they can't be recovered,  and they are protecting any Needs they have left. Simply put, they are more than hurting, they are fighting for their Needs. They are fighting for their lives. This is not important to understand so pity can be cast on them. It is to understand they have broken Needs so they can be better understood, and maybe even stopped. There is clearly a biological element to what makes someone a bully. Not everyone who goes through trauma becomes one. But almost everyone who is a bully has gone through trauma. No doubt biology is a contributing factor. But let’s not forget people's Needs. They are laws of life. When anyone is afraid or hurt they will have a fight or flight response. For some it's so intense they can't forget, the brain and body remember and they're stuck in a fight or flight response. And when people respond with anger and hate it only confirms their belief system that the world can’t be trusted and they spiral down into a greater hole of bullying. They do this because they are hurting. They are scared, hurt, afraid, and they’ve put up an emotional wall to ensure they will not be hurt again. 

Why 
They Treat
People Bad

Bullies Tend To Be Fighters

Here's the other thing about empathy. When a person doesn't have it, it makes it a whole lot easier to treat people terrible and not feel bad about it. The understanding of how another person feels doesn't get in the way. And when it's missing it allows someone who's hurting to hurt others without remorse. It starts when they don't have empathy to stop the behavior. There is a spectrum of bullies. From Karen's, Kens, Richards, A-holes, Trolls, D-Bags, and Dictators. They all have two things in common. They're hurting because they have broken needs and they lack empathy. They've had some life experience that was so traumatic they've learned they can no longer trust and they're ready to fight. They're stuck. Angry most of the time feeling like they're in the middle of a fight. It's because they are literally fighting for their lives. They are fighting for the things they need. Bullies have developed mechanisms to protect the needs they have left. Mechanisms like being condescending, sarcastic, snarky, rude, gaslighting, being abrasive, shit-talking, flexing, detaching, and overpowering are skills they’ve learned over time as tools to control and protect their needs. Life experience has taught them people are threats and that means you. If you are mild or appear to be weak you are just low-hanging fruit and a quick opportunity for them to assert their dominance. It’s not right, it's just a what's efficient. It's basic social economics. They are opportunists and any weaker human is an easy opportunity. Within the fight or flight response Bullies tend to be fighters. But they don't only fight other people there're also mean to themselves. 

KordaFilmRollChe.jpg

Karens
Kens &
Richards

Something here going back to the serial killers.

Trauma doesn't discriminate. No one is immune. It can affect anyone anywhere.  Bad transition here !!!!!  It's why we have names for people like Karens, Kens and Richards, For anyone who’s ever lived with worked with or known a bully are narcissistic or any self centered person knows this all too well. It is well documented the best way to treat a bully is not through punishment or disciple but through relationships.  Which develop empathy. It’s often agreed upon and understood that not all those who lack empathy become bullies and develop mental disorders like sociopaths. But most if not all sociopaths do not have empathy. So just because you’ve had a neglectful childhood experience it doesn’t mean you’re predetermined to cause others harm. But those who do consistently rate extremely low when empathy is scored. If you want to make a bully or monster you will need to make sure they don’t have empathy. simply put, hurt people hurt other people and this is the opposite of love. The world needs love more now than ever.