A Critical Time In Life

The Attachment Cycle

There's a critical moment in a persons development when they learn they're not alone. It's the moment they begin to trust and it's largely accredited to the reason they develop empathy. It's called the Attachment Cycle. It goes like this. When a baby cries it's because it's hungry. Crying alerts the caregiver, in most cases Mom, and she attends to her baby to cuddle and feed it until their satisfied. The baby has thier needs met andfeels at rest, cared for, and safe. Going back to sleeping like a baby. The more times this cycle is completed the greater the trust the baby has for the Mother. And over time this most important thing develops, attachment. And attachment gives way to empathy. This is associated with the development of the anterior insular cortex where empathy lives in the brain.


It’s not that humans can't continue to develop empathy throughout life, it's that this is the beginning critical ways they do. The touch and affection of the mother and father. Their smell, soothing, cooing and warmth, are all a part of the baby's attaching to his or her parents. This cycle is crucial to every person having a healthy and happy life. It is the essential ingredient for, relationships, friendships families and having a loving, caring, understanding society. When we don't have it we lose this.  


It's Not For The Weak

Empathy is not a feeling a person has because they're naive or weak. It's a feeling necessary for healthy relationships. If having friends isn't enough to see the value of empathy the lack of of it may convince you. The lack of empathy is the primary reason a person becomes a narcissistic, sociopath, bully, or even psychopath. When a persons Attachment Cycle is broken over and over they learn they can no longer trust anyone and the world is not a safe place. Trust becomes incresingly hard to gain and is easily lost.  For some it's an unfortunate reality causing them to become aggressive, combative, defiant, hostile, and conspiracist.

A Sad Example

Here's a sad example. The sad realithy is some adopted children have expereinced many of their needs broken before their brought to their forever homes. The adopted parents taking the role as the caregivers have good intentions. They're commited and loving. However, because the child has had their Attachment Cycle broken by the biological parents the child has learned the ones he loves the most are also the ones who are capable of hurting them the most. So anyone who takes that role as a caregiver becomes a threat  Trust was broken and it's not given out easily. This distrust carries through the childs life as an adult and when they enter a relationship and have children of their own. As an adult they may find they struggle to connect and form bonds. Afraid to be let down again. They will be threatened by the connections with another human and push them away. They will even sabotage to prevent themselves from loving opening up and thus becoming vulnerable. It's a flight response to protect whatever is left of the love and belonging need they have. The risk of being hurt again is too much and  they make a subconscious decision to never attach or love again. It's called Reactive Attachment Disorder. 

Losing our decency dignity compassion generosity hope and understanding. 

A Culture

Of Chaos

Losing Everything We Have 

 It is arguably the greatest asset and what it means to feel truly human. experience intimacy and to o form close relationships, And to even feel like two souls who have found their match. To become soulmates. To feel a closeness so great you long to reconnect when you’re away from them.  The attachment cycle is crucial to a healthy life. Empathy is the most powerful of emotions forming intimate bonds. What it does in families, relationships and lives is the core essential ingredient to a loving, caring, understanding society. A happier world. And the proof is what happens when we don't have empathy. We have a culture of chaos. As a person, this is the greatest cost. As a humanity, this is our greatest loss. When we lose the ability to understand, to care for another human because they we can't imagine how the other person feels is our lowest point.